I've realized...

I -need- to stalk people.
That sounds terrible, no? But I do it all the time. Not like, in real life... ("IRL" sounds too cyber-ish to be used)
In real life I'm p-p-paranoid. They give me a weird look, I get nervous. Wouldn't ever think of that kind of stalking.
I think it's my fascination with secrets. Secrets and the sides I don't usually get to see.
Find myself surfing around, reading, looking about..
I tend to only do it with people know, curious as to who their friends are and what they're thinking. Finding such things is easy with places like blogs, myspace, etc etc.. And all those communities that obviously state who they care about and what their opinions are.
What I find myself doing in my spare time as I sit in my pajamas still a bit queasy from sickness, with Wess going to bed out of both angst and exhaustion.. is seeing what he's said. I like to use it to poke fun at him occasionally, because sometimes he says sarcastic things that I could be offended by if he meant it. Such as.. I went looking at the comments of all the girls he knew, looking at his comments on their pictures. I noticed, that on -any- that showed any bare chest whatsoever (I don't mean chest-chest, I mean literal) he'd say something about their boobs. And with one friend it was her legs he always mentioned. So I gave him a hard time for that.
It's also my way of laughing at how much he worries, because if it was the other way around, heeeeee'd worry a helluva lot. He'd have multiple panic thinking sessions and be convinced after texting all his gal-friends about it that I was going to, whether I particularly wanted to or not, cheat on him.
When I noticed that I mostly just rolled my eyes, and thought to myself, 'shouldn't he kind of be aware that making those jokes would make any normal girlfriend paranoid?'
It still baffles me that he's not clingy. For the amount he worries, he should be clingy. But I guess what he doesn't know doesn't bother him? I just picture him freaking out if he heard I was going to some party at night. Well, he's not that bad, but if there were a lot of cute guys there or any guys I conversed with, sure he'd worry.
I'm the clingy one, he's the worry-wart.

Another reason why the whole boob thing just rolled right off my back.. He gets himself so upset over the idea of not being good enough for me (that sounds so strange to say... 'as if' is all that comes to mind) that I know he wouldn't be serious about any of that stuff. He's not the guy who checks girls out and stuff.. Mostly I've just heard stories of his funny friends dragging him out with them and causing scenes involving that. He's not a huge boob fan anyway.

Speaking of boobs.. Haha. Watching porn with him was funny. Happy 18th to him? I'm wondering how the heck it first came up.. Did he just randomly mention one time the fact that at 3 AM or so there's porn on TV? It's kind of disturbing to hear that in the background of your phone conversation. Funny and gross at the same time. "What're they doing now?" "Two blondes and a redhead having a threesome" "hahaha gross" "Oh ew, her face looks plastic and her boobs are huge" We've had conversations like that. To us porn is mostly a joke. I was icked out to notice that the guys were always so old looking. "Gross, why do they always choose old guys?" "I don't know.."
We questioned why the TV ones bothered trying to have a plot..

After saying that, I'll say, I'm quite pure and demure! Demure is a fun word, I just got the thesaurus for that one. It sounds almost snobby.

... hm. And off subject (doesn't matter, it's my blog).. Eh.. .....
I need to find his shirt, and the letter. Mom cleaned my room whilst I was sick. Maybe I'll write tonight, I seem to be alright for it, unless I burn myself out on this.