A Half-Mindless Freewrite.

Set go. Let it go. Let it be. We're with me and I can see. Blah blah blah and the fan goes whirling round and round, I can't type fast as it though I wish my lightning-quick fingers could match godspeed. Itch, break of conversation. Concentration. The words slip and meld together like melted metal. Soup stains. Stains of chocolate milk out of anger flecked on lightly. Stain of blood on yellow dress. Stain of blood on the pink of a ballroom dance. Painless, though. Soft fabric now, it keeps warm and feels dry. Tired eyes. I'll tell you the worries if what you find isn't too much. I'm demanding, demanding demanding. And one could go mad I feel. I have a high demand on life and everything around me, though I don't ask it, I feel it and only feel it. Never say it. Rest, stop, tired. Tired eyes, yet again. Screen blinding, invisible flickers. Faster than the clicks of time. don't think. don't think don't feel don't worry you can do it find and you will be well as well can be with flowers and eyes that don't follow glossy like those of porcelain dolls, follow. dots cigarettes souvenirs that come in shops and crack as they hit the floor, hold back your tears as they fall, can you let go of it all? can the spaces intetwine and intervene and keep you clean and free of salt studded wetness falling down to dirt to not so fresh waters? Bones and aches, twists in our hearts and doors that don't open. Could it be? We wonder. I don't make sense as I ramble, both tired and bored and without much thought. So let's bring him to mind. Smile. No smile but a smile in my head, knowing smile. Found, found it. Check off the list, we're good. we found a sidekick, we found a connoisseur we found a live-for. We found the shoulder and the hankie and the lips to warm any ache. To catch from any trip to fall. The reflections of water spread like light, pulsing with the trembling of a misplaced leg hard against the wood. Oh but we have things to show, a lot to show. The beams spread apart and widen with themovement and they flicker almost. Hungry only with chocolate in the stomach and taste in the mouth. Paranoia, I can't be here. We already know this.. We don't care.
Call her for me, says the eternally grateful. Like grating cheese. It makes no sense. Is grateful not great? Is it not something of stupendous? Head shoots up to grow towards the door of the light that switches on. Almost what caught us with our pants off. The blinds blow in the wind and the wind is summer-warm. No school is the feeling but sadly not the truth. Studyless. We are unprepared. Coughing realizations. Coughing choking on feelings of course but the coughs are held within. One surfaces. Exhaustion of both pride and joy, too much to handle for one day. We lean in hopes to come closer to the one we owe our lives to. Oh thank you thank you. We don't know how to.. Oh thank you thank you. You feel you owe me for the sour words shared and taken. But I owe you for the honey spread and dripped... never careless. Never cold. Warm as the spring and in anticipation for summer. You were always warm.