What Crap

So hungry that I feel sick.
I slept through dinner, and now I wake again at 5 Am with an empty stomach, no lunch, no dinner, empty. Sick.
Was going to make myself a waaay past midnight dinner but found that there are no noodles in the cabinet. Bah. So I eat a banana and some ritz peanut-butter thingies. Now my stomach is no longer jabbing from the inside.

Today I was on the phone with my fiance, getting annoyed as someone wasn't taking the hint that the line was busy, trying to call over and over. After about half an hour my mom came in, sounding annoyed, saying I had to hang up the phone right now. That it was apparently an emergency, and Robin had been trying to call. Emergency or not, I was very much bothered.
I was more bothered when they didn't need the phone and the emergency wasn't an emergency, but simply stupidity.
The emergency was this- my little brother's best friend was over at his house, which mind you, is ONE house away from his, and his mom didn't know where he was and -assumed- we weren't home because the line was busy! Jesus fucking christ!
I'm growing irritated at the increasing need for the line to be open. It's a five-person family, they shouldn't expect the line to be open all the time. Mom has long blabbers with old friends, I have long blabbers with my fiance whom I miss to death. Normally I would just chat with him but he's in NY, without a computer. And I need to take care of him.
So mom made me hang up on him, and I got upset so I went to sleep ignoring everyone when she said about two minutes later that I could have the phone back. I mean for fuck's sake.. Why the hell did you make me hang up on him?? There's a line two you know, and in my room, it only has line one!
After a half-nap I went into deep sleep, and that was at about 5 PM.
Now, I woke up, at 5 AM.
God-damn.

I'm afraid I missed something, I'm afraid he could maybe not be okay, I'm afraid that he was having thoughts again.
He was alone at central park and he's been really depressed for several days now. I need to be there for him... I needed to be there for him.. God I wish I was.
Fucking house.

That was the last real thing I said to him before hanging up. "I hate this effing house" "Now don't get upset or angsty about it, just text me when I can call back, okay?" "mm......" "It'll be fine, don't worry. I love you baby" "I love you too.. bye..." "bye"
Haven't had the chance to talk to him since.
It's morning over there, 8 AM... So I'm going to call him now to make up for it.

I'm so sorry I fell asleep Wess..