La la

Elated, to say the least...

First off, February 21st is my sixteenth birthday.
2nd of all, I just had a wonderful conversation with Wess.
Passion between us is strong as ever.
Very deep connection that's mind-boggling.
Also mind-boggling how much he loves me.
I honestly believe that it's not even possible for someone to love me as much as he does. I really don't think that anyone I ever meet will feel so strongly for me. Such extreme love and care.
Three hours later in his world. I smiled and remembered the lullaby I recorded on a cassette tape when I was little. I also remembered how Wess' mom would hum him to sleep when he was little. So I hummed it quietly, trying my best to remember. When I finished the tune in general I told him it was the lullaby I was talking about, and laughed and asked if he wanted me to continue. "yes" he said, and he sounded more sleepy. I laughed and said so. He said the song didn't help. I grinned and continued to hum into the phone for a long time, listening to his breathing as I did so. After a long while I blanked of tunes and went silent. Upon my silence he said softly "I love you so much Tanya" I smiled "I love you too Wess" We talked quietly a bit, and he said he'd protect me from anything and that he'd always be there for me. He told me to promise him I'd never forget that he loves me, and I did.

Wess is me if I wasn't afraid of crowds, if I was more loose and had more of a humor. He was telling me jokes and I didn't get most of them because I was analyzing them too much. He's me, but a lot more open and relaxed.

He's really something..

"I'm sorry but...
Rather this is real or not...
Even if it is just a dream that we're both living...
I'm going to continue to love you....
And if I lose you...
It'll be pointless moving on because...
The only time I've ever met a person like you...is when I've looked in the mirror and saw my own personality...
I'll never find that again...."

I hope putting his heart in my hands is something that can be trusted. I hope I'm not the cause of his demise, that I never hurt him. Because for once, it all depends on me.

Honestly, all my little wishes came true.
I wished for once I wouldn't be stuck loving someone who didn't love me back. I wished that I would no longer be the one waiting and wondering, that I could be in charge of my fate. That I could be with someone who was sure, that I could be with someone who was just as weird paranoid and clingy as me.
His heart is mine, I'll take good care of it. I hope my best is enough.



12 AM. Happy birthday to me.