Fuck

Dying. Dead. Fuck.

Why the hell is my life a sad movie.. Exactly.. a sad movie.

Walk off into the sunset. Say maybe we'll meet again.. Time will tell.. Goodbye.
Why why why why does February.. *teary eyes*

I don't.. Want to..

Head spinning heart breaking god it's not even me.

Can't think. Can't breathe. Can't think.

He's gone... I'm never.. Going to see him again. Why so suddenly. Why February.. Why February.

If I still love you, three years from now, I'm going to find you. I swear it.. I will find you. However long it takes to find your name that's erased from the phonebooks, however much time it takes to search all of NYC. I will find you..

Fate spins and spins me around and around and around. "I'm not like them" he says but how do I know that fate always has a way of doing this?

But, for his sake. For his life his sanity his happiness.
I'm no longer waiting. If I have him I'll take him. And I'm not bound by anything but my own wishes and desires.

Oh but dizzy.. Nothing but dizzy.
You fall in love and they say they have their life to discover. They want a fresh start. They will never speak to me, never speak to their friends, never speak to anyone again.

I've just lost another..

I hope I don't start crying at school.

"-smiles- If years by now, you honestly feel that way...you'll find a way...-takes your hand in his and squeezes it gently before walking off-"

Fuck. *crying* Fuck.