In pain in a number of ways.. But it always feels better to be clean.
Terrible girlfriend, or should I say, fiance. I won't call myself that until he actually asks. Currently I'm feeling like nothing of the sort.. Just another person adding to the problem.
My stomach is sick. I feel miserable. The pain alone is enough.
Mom kept on staring at me as I walked through the kitchen. "What?" "You just look so sad, so weak.." "What do you expect? I can't even eat.."
That's my excuse. I'm surprised that through these puffed cheeks emotion is still able to be read.
I can't take pain medicine till I eat. And the thought of eating anything right now makes me sick. Torture either way. Either my stomach or my face.. Currently, it's both.
The thought of him sobbing almost drove me to letting go of my 'leave it alone.. let it alone.. leave him alone..' stance, but I have no energy left and what can I say to him? 'It'll be okay'? What will be okay?
It hurts to move my mouth. I tried to call him anyway, yesterday, the day before, the day before.
Pain, more pain. Quite endless... Mental pain, physical pain, mental pain, physical pain.

My face is bruising. A disgusting yellow tint staining my jawline. Bruised apple, best way to describe.
I feel like drawing sad things..

A Girl Engaged

A ring on my finger
a cloud in my hands
a smile on my face
who could understand?
My life is rendered, melted down to joy
my pain obsolete, tears now dry
Your ring, my hand..
My life, my heart,
my future, I part
to him still a boy

With these rings
I beg for your your smile
for every sorrow to be mine
to hold and sweep
into my arms,
and for every tear you’ve shed,
I promise to make you smile..
For each day to take you awake
to reluctantly let you on your way
with slipped heart kiss
and to sing you to sleep,
with this voice, your lullaby
and hold you as we dream..

My eyes are yours to swim
my mouth, your sanctuary
from any hurt, dare it may..
I’ll fight back your shadows,
I’ll cuss out the past
My eyes soft knives
my words administering
to make right of wrong
to what you believed
was your poison to take..

I pray to coax out the smiles
if not, take mine, wide for us both
And I swear I heard your eyes laugh
from the corner of my mouth..

And what words but..
“I love you...” and “I do..”
could ever ring so true
To speak the side of me
you’ve glanced, not seen
Bubbled in sighs,
but strong to scream
Spreading throughout me,
soft like a dream..
What but ‘surreal..’
what but ‘unbelievable’
what but ‘unreal’
could this all be...

You and me..