No I'm not. I'm eating. I'm eating, and then I'll do my homework. In the meantime I want to write, now that I have a bit more confidence since writing my first real entry in a year.
Yeah I'll go to college. Wess makes me understand that I'm fortunate to be able to, that I have parents willing to pay for it and I have my high school education almost done, so I have a chance to be well respected. I guess the bright side is, going to college will prepare me for the burdens of everyday life with work. I think I will be happy.. I'll be with Wess, I'll have date nights with him and great weekends and I'll have dinner with him and his family. I'll be happy. For now I remain slightly hopeless because I hate life without him. But I'll have four years living life with him knowing what it's like to have my own responsibilities but be by his side. Know how to manage money, be on my own in a way, able to make my own choices. I'm glad I might get to stay for a year and get a job.. That will also give me some experience. I think I'll be able to get used to living life as a responsible almost-adult and so when we get married it won't be as if everything is suddenly thrown onto us.. We'll be able to know what life will be like.
Wess likes calling me a brat. I love calling him an idiot. He likes to irritate me and I like to whack him. We like to play fight. He likes to lightly punch and I like to wrestle with him. Some could say, we're a 'highly abusive' couple. My parents frown upon it. But we fight like puppies fight. Puppies growl and bite and nip and yip and wrestle around. But they would never truly hurt each other. Honestly I love it. I love that the thought of ever being abusive towards each other is so far-fetched and so ridiculous that we make fun of it. We are the most sensitive and kind people to each other. If I ever got the slightest scratch, Wess would panic. He would freak out and maybe even cry (if he had done anything to cause it). We both laugh so much, it makes me so happy. I'm happy that we can joke about the most serious things and that I feel so safe with him that we can laugh and call each other names. It's so strange. Like being a little kid, full of energy.
I will love going to prom with him. It will be so romantic. I will have so much fun dressing up and doing my hair and wearing/picking the perfect dress. He will be the perfect date. He is the perfect date. So sweet and awestruck by my apparent 'beauty'. He gets so googly-eyed when he sees me in an elegant dress... most guys wouldn't care what a girl had on and wouldn't see the same loveliness in a dress as a girl would see themselves, but he sure sees it. He always thinks I look beautiful.
"I also like how much your cheeks rise up when you smile
And how wide your smile can get
And the way your lips shape when you smile
And how your teeth barely show when you smile
And how your eyes kind of squint when you're happy and smiling"
I'm very lucky.
1 comment:
*is smiling a bunch* You've no idea how much I love to read about how happy you are with me. Making you smile is honestly the greatest gift I've given. To be able to offer you what you've always dreamt of, I love it! We're so great together. Which is weird because we're at the same time so opposite. I think what makes it work perfectly is we're A LOT alike when it comes to our emotions and personalities. But our interests differ quite a bit BUT because of our personalities we want to enjoy everything together and so that makes us want to show each other what we like instead of hiding it :D Prom will be great except I'm not looking forward to wearing a suit and looking like a penguin -_- I guess you'll love it regardless, huh? :P I really want to watch Amelie with you, isn't that weird? *hugs you tight* All this you're going through will be worth it, I promise. I'm here and you'll be with me soon. Just remember, it's YOU and ME. Remember who we are? Do you think we'd EVER let us stay apart forever? We're awesome and even through my fear I realize this. We're fucked up in the head but we're awesome :D I love you!
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