Written on Mypsace, yesterday

Hello.
Who are you? Why are you here?
Comment because you can, whether I know you are not.
Why did you join myspace? Are you of the extreme mass who hoped to meet hot guys/chicks with big dicks/tits? Oh hahaha that sorta rhymes. Sorry to be brutally blunt.
Were you pushed into it by your myspacian friends?
Or did you join so you could be a bit more in contact with everyone?

I'll shut up with the questions. But I wouldn't mind them answered.

My poor kitty. She's just laying there, she looks sort of dozed or bored.. She's waiting for me to go to bed... I'm bad at doing my homework. I should I should. But I get so restless with my thoughts and inspiration... And I just met another guy from India, randomly. And I talked to Harmony for the first time in five months.

I make a small sound in regard to my cat, and she gives me her wide-eyed look, wanting me to stand up so she can run down the stairs in front of me, to my room.. She lays on her side now, looking adorable..... hehe.

I wanted to lay in the driveway with him, and listen to him talk of how beautiful the cosmos are, and tell me about movies and hum songs from Nightmare Before Christmas.
We'd cuddle and look at the stars and smile..
You have no idea how much I want to..
Little moments. I would do a lot for those little things. Just the feeling of his hands in mine and his smile when he saw me. His bear hugs. His laugh. Want it terribly.
Two months..? Three..? Three... Or four..
Oh I wish I could know..
But I suppose then life would feel like an eternal countdown. So maybe it's best unknown. But I still wish I knew everything would work out in the way that eventually we'd successfully arrange a day for him to come here..

When I think of love in general, I think of the romance scenes in movies, the very strong and dramatic feeling that brings two people so close. I think of that, and then think of Wess, and think to myself.... He really feels that for me...?
I can't see that, haha.
But I know he loves me. 'with all his heart'..?
Such is unabsorbable. I can't absorb any of this till I know it as I see it. See it to believe it...
I can't see us as a real couple.. I can't see this as truly real.. Well.. I mean...... It doesn't sink in. Yes I see us as a couple and yes I get it, but I don't get it, haha. It's hard to explain. It's like saying 'yes yes I understand' and nodding your head, but not understanding the inner meaning of it all. Getting only the big picture, and not seeing what's really underneath.
I don't know love. I never have. I mean.. I don't know what being loved is.. It's just new to me...
I don't know affection.. Maybe that's what I mean.
When he holds me and when I can see him and feel him and hear every word right there for myself and know from it all that he really means it.. Then I'll know. Then I'll understand truly.