Absence

He's not talking to any of his friends anymore, the only people he'll talk to is his family, so yeah. He's disconnecting from all the people he's known. Disconnect from all the requirements of friendship.
Honestly, I wish I could do the same thing.
I'm basically single again. Sucks.
Because I love him and I'm not going anywhere and I don't plan on loving anyone else.
I want Wess and Wess alone. So unless I somehow meet the person who I'm really supposed to be with, I'm waiting for him. And I'll find him. I'll come to New York if I have to, in about two years, if it's that long with no sign from him. I'm not letting him just drop out of my life. I'm not letting such a wonderful guy just disappear.
He thinks I'll soon move on from him. That I'll 'find people to make me happy'. Yeah sure. I'll keep my eyes open and myself unbound but I'm not going to ever 'move on' from him. I love him. I'm surprised I'm not having breakdowns. But I guess it's because, I know.. I'll see him again someday. And if he doesn't come, I'm going there. I refuse to have this be the end of it.
Mom says to me- well, they're getting a little better every time. She means, the guys I fall for.
--

I've been on four different medications now I think. None really work. Pish.
Back on the one I first tried. Because it makes me sleep better, and supposedly I seem more 'up' when I'm on it, though I can't really tell myself.
Whatever. To hell with meds. Socially anxious and forever that way. Who cares. At least it makes me different from the dumb teenagers of this generation.

I have a headache. Fucking finals. Fucking six page paper. I spent all night doing it because the night I had to work on my six page paper, was the night that Wess left me.
So I didn't go to school today. Because I stayed up till 3 AM writing my paper.

I hate this.. I'm getting queasy because I'm thinking. Tomorrow's Saturday. The next day is Sunday. The next day, I'm SCREWED!
I dislike weekends only because I know school is coming back.

'Dear Wess..' is what I write in my journal now.